BTCOI - Apartment Scene

~Sage & Beaux – Apartment Scene.

Spending nights over here became a regular thing. Beaux and I would just talk, sit on his couch, his floor, and talk for hours before we decided to turn in late those nights. I started to believe that people weren't so bad... that the world could be a better place, if everyone surrounded themselves with the people that cared about them. Then maybe they would see that as well. It was still hard to put trust in so many places at once... but you don’t have to start with that. Just starting with a gesture could tear those walls down that had once been built so high, to keep everything out that could harm. I learned about his past, broken like mine but still Beaux managed to keep himself together; He even had the scars to prove it. See being alone from the start only gives you a one dimensional view of life itself, his experiences, his view expanded that one dimensional view I had.

Thing's transitioned, like in any relationship or friendship. We became closer. Familiar with the simple gestures that we made everyday, the way we smiled, laughed. There was one night in particular that we stayed up until 3am talking, Beaux had returned to his bedroom; Me curled up like a burrito with blankets on his couch. Since I was never used to this kindness it struck me as being strange and for some reason I would let the tears that I had bottled up for days on end escape in the darkness. He could probably hear my quiet sobs and ignored them for awhile thinking it was something I just needed to sort out on my own. Being treated like this felt like a punishment, it just didn't sit right with me... since when had I relied on anyone? When was the last time I let anyone in besides Ashtin?. Later I would hear a creak from the floorboards, and the brush of his body on the end of the couch, I'd move over to nuzzle into the giving warmth He gave off. Beaux wouldn't do anything but rest beside me until I was able to fall asleep, and surely enough I'd fallen asleep like a rock.

One thing occurred to me that I wanted to slap myself for. Beaux was looking for something beyond those trashy girls that littered our school. I could see it in his hazel eyes, that look of longing for something that just couldn't seem to be found. He found me... he had found me when no one else was looking. The whole thought of him as a player, as this jock that just used the previous women faded away. Now and again I had my doubts, but no one was perfect. Thing's just seemed more clear, this bond that formed between us allowed one another to accept the imperfections we had.

If you wanted to call it a relationship you could have. At this age though, there should be no expectations; in high school everything is a joke. A place to figure shit out, to find who you truly were, and what purpose you had outside of it. Carrying the burdens Beaux and I had made it no easier.A couple of months before our Junior year ended we spent the early evening watching old movies. Same as always at first we both sat on opposite sides of that leather sofa that smelled strongly of a rainy sort of musk. Getting closer all the while, we talked about life again but something had changed in those few moments on this one particular evening where everything was supposed to be as it usually was, but It hadn't turned out that way at all. Should I have been smarter than to have let it move onto this new area  that I had never been even thought about?

Beaux's lips slowly pressed against my own. For a moment I was hesitant, taking in just the taste of him, the curves of his body while I wrapped both arms around his broad neck. Our figures formed in the dark, complimenting each other softly. This was no scene from a movie, or a lust filled moment. Every second of being in his presence was real, fulfilling in every way possible. We stayed like that, twisting on the couch with my shirt bunched halfway up my back, I couldn't complain. In a swift movement following those unforgettable moments, He lifted me into his arms, a rush of static warmed my finger tips all the way down to my toes.

Many posters were outlined from the faint light filtering in through the bedroom window in the concealing night while we crossed the thresh hold into Beaux's room and onto his bed. Fingers running through his thick, tousled blonde hair as I met his lips halfway again. This was dangerous, too dangerous; yet here I was in the dark kissing him.  Becoming more and more vulnerable by the second, making it easier for him to take advantage. I didn't care though, all care, caution, rationality, and reason had been muddled together to make these emotions stirring within unrecognizable.